That time of the month
by Nikushimi
Summary: The seiishi are generly very happy, fun loving and somewhat strange people. Now, Let's have fun and find out what happens when their miko has PMS... hee hee... (ok, so I suck at summaries... please don't judge a book by it's cover! R&R!!)
1. Episode one The madness begins

Konnichiwa Minna-san! Nikushimi here, with my first fanfiction piece! Uh... This is on a topic that most girls may find embarrassing so I figured that, hey! With my huge lack in the ability to make jokes, I could probably write something semi-funny! It might be high hopes though....   
  
Nikushimi: Anyway, with this subject I only feel comfortable talking about it with two of my very good friends, so knowing me this might disappear very suddenly!! ha ha ha....   
  
Warning: This piece of work was written in a severe case of PMS(and hyperness)! Some suggestive dialogue not suitable for children may have slipped in without my notice because I was seriously PO- ed at the world at the time and didn't care.... (really, I don't think there are any bad words....he he he)   
  
Nikushimi: Yes, PO- ed at my sis, mom, and the world. It all started because I wouldn't let my sis kick me off the comp. last night 'cuz I was busy reading fics!! And now she gets to go on 'cuz she cried to mom. damn her....   
  
*glares at onee*   
  
Hotaru: *turns around* hmmm.....?   
  
Nikushimi: *Turns back to computer screen as un-suspiciously as possible* I swear I'll get her. Random thoughts of disconnectiong the newer comp. and running away with the screen have been floating through my head all day... instead I just mope and type on my crappy old comp. *sigh* Anyway, enjoy the fic!!   
  
Fushigi Yuugi: That Time of the month...   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own.....ANYTHING!!.......Damn.   
  
Nikushimi (taking the role as Narrator): For fun, Stupidity, and no reason at all, (or maybe for the reasons I just stated) our story begins in Konan with our favorite Miko, Miaka Yuki, at no point in the story line that Fushigi Yuugi runs by.   
  
Miaka: But...why?   
  
N: Well, mainly because there is no good point in the story I can fit this in. And I don't want to have it at the end because that would involve half the cast being dead. Also that would involve Taka being in the story and because of good taste (plus personal problems) there is no chance I am bringing him in here.   
  
Miaka: Why?   
  
N:(PMS starting to flare) Taka is a wimp with no powers. Also his name is stupid. Why Watase changed it to a jacked up name like that is beyond me. In short-- I don't like him as much as Tamahome.   
  
Miaka: Why?   
  
N:(PMS! PMS!) Listen. Stupid ditzes aren't hard to find in the anime world. You can be easily replaced if you defy me!! *mutters* That Usagi girl could play your slut part just fine...   
  
Miaka: ok! ok!   
  
N: As I was saying, our story begins in Konan palace with (our now less) favorite miko. *mutters* Damn talking back fictional characters!!   
  
Miaka: I'm bored.....   
  
Tamahome: Yeah.....   
  
Miaka: Wanna make out....?   
  
Tamahome: Yeah.....NANI?! Now? (again?)   
  
Miaka: Why not? It's what we always do in the series.*under breath* It seems to be the only thing I'm good for... That and a rape victim...   
  
Tamahome: Um...ok, fine.   
  
*Tamahome leans in*   
  
*Kiss*   
  
*Tamahome opens eyes for no apparent reason*   
  
Chichiri: I didn't know you felt that way about me, no da!   
  
(*popped in with his powers*)   
  
Tamahome: GAH! Chichiri you ass! What the heck are you doing here?!   
  
Chichiri: Don't ask me! Ask the Authoress! This is her weird humor after all, no da!   
  
*everyone glares up at Nikushimi*   
  
N: Bwahahahahaha! I rule all!!   
  
Tamahome: *under breath* Why me? I should have known...   
  
Tasuki: Don't act like your the favorite! We all know that I am the awesome hero in the story!   
  
Hotohori: *sparkle sparkle* Oh shut up you baka. This is a girl's comic! If you were to be the main character you would have to be a girl! *slightly quieter* And we all know you're not nearly as gorgeous as us (I), so you couldn't possibly come close to the dashing hero!(*CONCITED!!!*)  
  
(Note: Hotohori always refers to himself as "we" the emperor and all... on crack? I think so.)  
  
(N: Don't you love how they all magically appear like this?)   
  
Tamahome: Wait your highness, as you said this is a girl's comic after all. And we all know there is something strange with Tasuki so....   
  
Tasuki: What the hell are you implying?!   
  
Tamahome: nothing just that... *starts to dance around like an annoying ballerina* You're a girl!! A gril!! A girly girly girly girl!   
  
(Nao: (nikushimi's other self) A ballerina, eh? Don't you think that makes people wonder? Niku: AH! NO! It's not... uh... It's a very manly dance. *mutters* like I'd ever insult my lovely tamahome.. *drools* And it's not like I really hate these characters... Nao: *evil grins* it's just fun to make fun of them. )   
  
Nuriko: Here they go again...   
  
Miaka: Hmm? Oh, Nuriko! Where have you been?   
  
Nuriko: Oh! I've been playing dress up. I've missed dressing like a girl, I'll admit it now... so I had to find a substitute.*looks behind her/him*   
  
(Niku: You are psychotic! Why must you insist on adding this? Nao: hee hee hee. Because it's the humor that never dies. Hey folks, what is the one sight that would stop the world from rotating?)   
  
*Entire FY cast stops, glares, grimaces, and quickly turns away*   
  
Miaka: Nur- Nuriko!!   
  
Nuriko: What?   
  
Miaka: That's mitsukake!!   
  
Nuriko: *cheerily* I know.   
  
Miaka: THAT'S MITSUKAKE IN A DRESS!!   
  
Tamahome: Twice in one lifetime is too much!!   
  
Tasuki: I never knew the wrath of PMS was so bad!!   
  
(Nao+Niku: hee hee. Try a PO-ed mom with PMS. THAT IS HELL!)   
  
Nuriko: Aww, come on! It ain't that bad! Besides, We know the fans all love it!   
  
Fans: *running for their lives*   
  
Miaka: Well, there go all our readers...*sweat drop*   
  
Tasuki: *hiding his face* CHI- CHIRIKO! You're supposed to be smart!! DO SOMETHING!!   
  
Chiriko: uhhhhh...ok! *places bag on mitsukake's head*   
  
Mitsukake in a dress, under a bag: *sweat drop*   
  
Everyone: *anime fall down*   
  
Chichiri: apparently his Kanji is not there...no da.   
  
Miaka: Oh well, I suppose I shall clean him up... *thinking* why do I get stuck with this crap? *walks off with Mitsukake*   
  
Tasuki: She sure is sacrificial....   
  
Chichiri: She's really kind.   
  
Tamahome: Hee hee, and I'm the lucky stiff whom she loves.   
  
Hotohori: *looking agitated* Shut up, you don't have to be coacky! *mutters* We the emperor are to concited to care about your luckyness yet we are jelous and dumbfounded because miaka picked a money pinching block headed guy over this sexy beast.   
  
(Niku: Ano... Hotohori seems oddly out of character... Nao: I noticed. You must stop talking like your friends. Niku: dah! ......*sweatdrop* I suppose you're right... sadly, that is an impossible fate.)  
  
Tamahome: grrrrrr....*thinking* Why must he always talk like he's on drugs? (or rugs...hee hee hee)   
  
Chiriko: I like miaka too..   
  
Nuriko: I must admit I can't not like her.   
  
Nao: ARGH! HEY! Let's play a game! Who doesn't fall in love with miaka during the series?   
  
Chiriko: (smart) Oh! I know! Taiitsukun! Or an innocent bystander.... A tree maybe?   
  
Tamahome: OMG!! EVERYONE (and/or thing!) IS AFTER MY SWEET, SWEET MIAKA!!   
  
Tasuki: you're right. For a girl, she is pretty sweet, and nice, and kind, and fun, and cheery, and loveable, and....   
  
Miaka (in the distance): WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE?!   
  
Chichiri: And hungry... no da?  
  
(Niku: Do they know what chocolate is? Nao: Who cares? Shut up and get the plot moving!!)   
  
N: Small critters, form who knows where (Nao: outerspace!!lol), hurdle out of the area miaka and mitsukake were. Therefore, trampling the seiishi as they pass.  
  
Chichiri: This can't be good...Bad omen...no da...  
  
Miaka's voice heard from afar: I HATE YOU ALL!  
  
Tamahome: *looking at Tasuki* and just where the hell are you going?  
  
Tasuki: *turns to reveal the face of a sneaky fox* um... with the animals. I want to live, man.  
  
Tamahome: Why you...! *anime fighting cloud starts between the two*  
  
Nuriko: This looks bad!  
  
Hotohori: What? The fact that Miaka is acting like a homicidal maniac?   
  
Nuriko: NO! I..I... I think I'm getting a zit!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  
  
Hotohori: Go to your closet and pray!  
  
(Nao: Hee hee. Carrie. Niku: ahhhhh!)  
  
Mitsukake:*comes running out with bruises* Ahhhhhhhhhh!! Run Forest! RUN!  
  
(Niku: ok, you can knock it off already. I don't need to be sued for all this. Nao: he he he. But it's fuuuuuuun! Niku: *wack* Both: Ow! Nao: I(we) don't own anything...just remember that. Niku: *smiles*)  
  
*THUMP*  
  
Seiishi: huh?  
  
*thump*  
  
*water riples*  
  
*thump*  
  
noise in distance: Roooooooooooooooooooooooooar!!  
  
(Nao: That one was you!! Niku: I know... hee hee. Nao: you do realize I can now insert raptors, right? Niku: Urk! Waaaaaaaaah! NO!!! *whispers* Not the raptors! They'll be tasting me!!)  
  
Tasuki: Holy shiznay!  
  
Tamahome: She's... she's......COMING!!  
  
N: a large shadow envelopes the seiishi...  
  
Nao: THE END!!  
  
Niku: NO IT'S NOT!  
  
Nao: hee hee... I know...I'm just evil that way.   
  
Niku: Well, it might be the end if no one likes it... So if anyone actually thinks my work is funny, GIVE ME A SIGN!!  
  
Nao: ok! *holds up loser sign*  
  
Niku: damn you....  
  
Nao: Anyway, if you'd like to feed our ego, please...R&R!!  
  
Niku: *mutters* What she said.... 


	2. Episode two The return

Konnichiwa Minna-san! Nikushimi here! The gangs back for more insanity, more lame humor, and more... something! They were all happy to still have a job because of all you readers out there! *tears of joy* You... you actually replied!!  
  
Nao: Whoa! This is one for the record books!!  
  
Niku: *grumbles* the gang is definitely all here....*sarcastic voice* wooooo-hoo.  
  
Nao: In any case, we return to re-install our psychotic humor... Just when everyone thought it was safe to read another parody,... we return!!  
  
Niku: Stop it!! Your scaring the readers away!!not to mention me...  
  
Nao: muahahahahaha! Don't worry, I'll have all parody to scare them away... Then I'll be queen!!  
  
Niku: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight... On with the show!!  
  
Disclaimer: (Nao:) this is a note for us to realize our pathetic existence, for we own absolutely NOTHING! (Niku:) Word.   
  
Fushigi Yuugi Episode 2  
  
Seiishi discover PMS!! Off to save suzaku no miko!!  
  
(Nao: hmmmmmmm...CRAP!! Niku: Ok, so I'm at a lost for titles. The readers don't care about the title as long as the rest is good. Nao: This just in : Our ratings have dropped 99 %. Niku: WHAT?!..........we have ratings? Nao: Oy.)  
  
NIku: uh... Where were we last...?  
  
Nao: All the guys just stripped and brought out the whip cream and--  
  
Niku: ah!! hentai! Hentai! HENTAI! NO they did not, you sick twisted evil side of myself!! A dark shadow thinging enveloped the seishii!  
  
Nao: Drats! And I thought it was gonna get good... ah well...  
  
N: all of a sudden people come scattering from the...um... village/town area.  
  
people: Ahhhhhhhhh! Ruuuuuuuun!! Ruuuuuun!!  
  
Random Guy: Oh my God! It's Godzilla!!  
  
*on the street, while everyone is running in terror, we see a very calm man whistling and walking*  
  
Mr. Rogers: *singing* It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Such a beautiful day in the neighbor hood... *pauses and notices that the shoes he is always tying on the show have become untied* huh? What's this? !*bends down to tie shoes while whistling*  
  
*thud*   
  
*thud*  
  
*thud*  
  
*very fake, yet realistic, cardboard giant foot comes and crushes the gay little man*  
  
(Nao: we mean both the definitions of gay...hee hee.)  
  
Nuriko: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! He was my childhood idle!!  
  
Tamahome: And now we know why you turned out the way you did...  
  
Nakago:(out of no where...he randomly appears) *sniff* But... WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ALL HIS PUPPET FRIENDS?!  
  
-silence-  
  
Nakago's loud sobs in the background: I never got to ride the trolley!!!!!!  
  
Niku: *shocked* yes... um... right... moving on...  
  
Tasuki: aw' no. Not another giant monster flick. I gotta get a better agent.  
  
Tamahome: May I suggest my agent? He's... the best in the biz.  
  
Tasuki: Oh? What's your agent's name?  
  
Tamahome: His name is Bond. *pause* James Bond.   
  
Nuriko: Right......... but how does your mouth feel?  
  
*Tamahome smiles to reveal shinny teeth*  
  
Nuriko: Fabulous!  
  
Mitsukake: Ok, ok. As much as we all like continuous spy movies and cheesy commercials, we really should get back to the plot.  
  
Nuriko: Then please explain why you are dressed up as Ronald McDonald.  
  
*everyone looks at Mitsukake as if he were in a dress*  
  
*people who ran from the village/ town now turn around and run back*  
  
People: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It burns! My eyes! MY EYES! I'm melting!! Meeeeeeeeeeeelting!!  
  
*seishii remain in dumbfounded silence*  
  
Mitsukake: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I thought it made me look...pretty.  
  
Ronald Mcdonald: Stupid Mitsukake! You made look bad!!  
  
(Niku: My poor readers!! To be subjected to-- THIS!! Nao: Aw, come on hun, it couldn't be better. Hee hee. *evil grins*)  
  
N: Yes, well, that's too strange. Back to the story. We mustn't forget about the huge monster, yet to be revealed. I mean, IT is getting paid after all. (Nao: No it isn't. No one is. They're all doing this against their free will because I used my dark powers to force them to. Niku: ha ha ha. You're so funny Nao. Nao: *evil glare* God of shadows I envoke thee...)  
  
IT: Ahem!  
  
Tamahome: Uh-oh!.....  
  
FY Cast & Crew: ........  
  
Tamahome: Boy it's quite on set....  
  
Nuriko: Tama-baby you dult!! Your not done with your part yet!!  
  
Tamahome: Oh? yes... um........Line?  
  
Larry *the director*: Run run...  
  
Tamahome: oh yes!! Uh-oh! Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man! *runs away*  
  
Tasuki: Larry 'at wasn't his line!!  
  
Larry: Hmmm? I'm sorry, I was reading this very dificult adult level book....you were saying?  
  
IT: Fee Fye Foe Fum.... I smell chicken, and I'm gonna get me some. But first, I shall introduce myself. Hello, I'm a fat old bag formally known as prince-- I mean Taistkun. I like pinacoolatas and getting caught in the rain. *song plays in background*  
  
Chichiri: *Breaks record* Never did like that song. So, what are you doing here Taistkun? No Da?  
  
Taitskun: Oh yes... I forgot about that. I came here to tell you something and instead I ended up rampaging the town. Silly me.  
  
Tasuki: *moves finger in a circular motion by his head to signify a crack pot* See what happens when you get old?  
  
*bam!*  
  
*Tasuki's face is now implanted in the ground*  
  
Taitskun: So Anywayz... (Niku: hee hee. Miharu-chan1's line.) Suzaku seiishi, I have dire news to tell you. I am afraid that your dear miko, whom everybody seems to love, has befallen a tragic illness.  
  
Tamahome: What could it be?!  
  
Chiriko: Chicken pox?  
  
Mitsukake: Meazzles?  
  
Nuriko: Or mumps?  
  
Chichiri: Oh my!! ...........no da.  
  
Taitskun: I'm afraid far worse!!  
  
Everyone: *gasp*  
  
Tasuki: *burp*  
  
*Nuriko hits Tasuki upside the head*  
  
Taitskun: Miaka has befallen the wrath of....PMS!! It's her time of the month, don't ya know. So beware of her and sharp pointy objects. She might be experiencing some mood swings too. This message will self destruct in 10 seconds.  
  
*Everyone looks at huge Taitskun*  
  
Nuriko: Oh crap.  
  
Taitskun: *pop- goes the weasel plays from the enormous Taitskun*   
  
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!* (Nao:hee...pop goes the Taitskun...)  
  
Hotohori: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! And I just washed my long freakishly girly hair this morning! Now I have Taitskun guts all in it! What's a gir-- I mean guy to do?  
  
*Tamahome randomly appears in superman costume*  
  
Tamahome: This is no time to be worrying about hygene problems. Miaka is in danger! We must save her!! Up! Up! And Away!!  
  
Chiriko: *whispers* so.... who's gonna be the lucky person to tell hime he ain't flying?  
  
Tamahome*heard in background*: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
Mitsukake: *whispers* Don't look at me...  
  
Chichir: Don't worry, we've made that mistake too many times to repeat it.No da.  
  
Tasuki: A guy in his undies...that's a sad sight... NEXT SCENE!!  
  
Tamahome: Miaka is on yonder side of wall! Therefore, we must go through it!  
  
*Tamahome tries flying kick to break through wall*  
  
*crack*  
  
Tamahome: Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwie!!  
  
Tasuki: Feh. Idiot. Let a real warrior do this!  
  
N: Tasuki uses his beautiful fan to try and burn down the wall.  
  
Tasuki: HEY!! It's a harrison!!  
  
N: Whatever. Your the stupid idiot who's trying to burn down a federal building. Quite offensive if you ask me...  
  
Tasuki: Eh?*gets dragged away by bodyguard-like people* Noooooo! I'm innocent!! Innocent I say!  
  
Bodyguard guy: Yeah yeah, talk to the hand.  
  
Tamahome: ok...*silence*... This time it will work!! Bring her in mitsukake!!  
  
*Mitsukake brings in wrecking ball*  
  
*Hotohori moves out of the way, to the sidelines and notices something*  
  
Hotohori: Eh? Guys!!   
  
Tamahome: Smash time in 5.......4......  
  
Hotohori: You do not have to do that!!  
  
Tamahome: 3......2.....  
  
Hotohori: Because right here there is a--!  
  
Tamahome: 1!!  
  
*SMASH!!*  
  
Hotohori: door....................My beautiful palace!!  
  
N: Miaka, randomly sitting in a chair facing the broken wall now watches as the smoke clears.... And when it does, a figure appears!!  
  
Background music: beep beep beepbeep. beep beep beepbeep. dum. dum. dum. dum.  
  
Tamahome *dressed in Kim possible mission clothes* : Oh yeaaaaaaaaa- e-ahhhhhh!  
  
*Kim Possible theme plays*  
  
Tamahome: *singing* I'm your basic average girl and I'm here to save the world. You can't stop me cuz' I'm Ta- Ma- Home- Eh!There is nothing I can't do... except act serious and do algebra and stop global warming....  
  
*record ziiiiiiip sound and music stops*  
  
Hotohori: What a disgraceful sight. It was positively ridiculous..... If he wanted to "wooh" Miaka he should have wiggled the hips a bit more...  
  
Tamahome: What do you mean?! I thought it was a masterpiece!!  
  
Tasuki: More like a mooseterpiece if you ask me....  
  
Miaka*randomly sneaks up behind them from the shadows* Hello clariece!! MAUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!  
  
Guys: ulp.  
  
Niku: Now wasn't that...uh....interesting? I know you're all dieing to know!!  
  
What will happen next?!--Nao: Will we ever get to the point?--Niku: What of our beloved Miko?--Nao: Will the next one be as corny?--Niku: Will--Nao: Tamahome go out with me?--Niku: WILL YOU SHUT UP?!  
  
Nao: I don't know...WE'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT NEXT TIME!! until then torture yourselves with those questions... it's fun...  
  
Niku: *sigh* Please, R$R!! bye-e 3!! 


End file.
